I?ve read about things like this in your magazine and on your web site but I never thought this would happen to me. I guess it?s true that good things come to those who wait. I?m so excited to be the one sharing this time.
I recently went on a camping trip to West Virginia with my girlfriend and four of my best friends. Soon after arriving, we quickly set up camp and started a hot, blazing campfire. Everyone had some drinks and relaxed and, as you have probably guessed by now, it wasn?t long before the talk turned to paddling.
I had been to the Gorge a few times before. The most memorable was two years ago with my mother and a friend from back home. The talk turned to paddling on that trip too but I had never done any hard core paddling before, and it certainly wasn?t appropriate to get into it then with my mother and my old friend. I mean doing it with a willing group of your peers is one thing?Anyway, I watched others and was really excited about the idea and as I watched I swore that one day I would join those who had already taken the plunge.
Two years passed and during those two years I worked on my skills, got to know others that were interested in joining me on my quest and dreamed of the day I would get spanked in West Virginia. Now, there I was.
We sat around the fire and talked late into the evening, no one more excited than the other and none more apprehensive about the coming day than me. JR joined us for some drinks. Soon the blazing fire slowed to a glow and fell into embers. Each of us retreated to our overpriced tents, complete with aircraft aluminum poles and seamed sealed bathtub sides.
The next morning, to prepare ourselves for what was to come, we gorged ourselves on a wonderful breakfast of pork and eggs. It wasn?t long after that, like a vision, two figures appeared through the balsams. The dark, brooding Angry Dave and the chatty Princess Jill. They, along with JR, Alicia, Ken and Liz would be our guides and gurus for the day.
It was colder than expected and not one of us came prepared. It was overcast and drizzling when we drove past the camp nazi post and toward the put in. With time to kill we stopped and geared up with fleece, Fat Doug with really tight pants. It seemed like no time and we were at the put in. There was tension but at least we were terrified*.
We put in. The world slowed and everything happened so quickly. Hands tighter than ever around the shaft, through the Railroads and down to Ender. In my mind and in my excitement those three blurred into one. We had a swim at Enders. A stiff tumble. We surfed Ender Wave. Loosening and feeling the edges we began to feel better about the day. Princess Jill had a pay per view quality surf and was pink and glowing for the rest of the run. One of my friends (I?ll call him Guy) was throwin? down like only Karl Gordon can do.
Upper Keeney went down like a drunk prom date. Middle Keeney exploded everywhere. I?m told there were rolls and a swim but all I know is I made it through and into the eddy unscathed.
Fearing the next, we all lined up behind Liz like goslings (ducklings. WhatEVAR!).
The four of us quacked our way over the rocks to scout Lower Keeney. It was crashing and churning but with a clear line, like Hollywood on steroids. Ken and crew pointed out the preferred line and we tried our best to follow.
Flash.
We were in the eddy and laughing. No swims and I?m not sure if there were rolls or not. The focus had kicked in (the staff back at the hospital would be proud). Relaxed, laughing and confident we made the rest of the run, me rolling in Miller?s Folley.
By the time we reached Fayette Station the only goal was to not swim on the last rapid?to not even roll.
Set up for the rapid. The river dropped off and the waves grew exponentially (that means a lot and fast too!) We were catching air and hooting and singing songs from ?Seven Brides for Seven Brothers? and ?Clam Bake?. Joan Davis? face appeared in the clouds ?Come a long way, you have my Kernels.?
Flips. Rolls. Yard Sale. Boater on the left and kayak on the right.
Then we did tricks to the applause and delight of the Japanese (really).
We all came out alive and walking very, very slowly. Straight Up and Bad Ass! Still goofy looking but feeling bad ass anyway.
We went back to the camp site glowing and did what bad ass paddlers do. We got drunk and insulted everyone.
My girlfriend (I?ll call her Julie) waited until the next day for her spanking. Surprise!
*The author here is alluding to the Fat Doug trip report
the long awaited, much anticipated, verbose...Cheat Report. "It was cold but at least it was windy".
That report was wll worth the wait!!!!
Princess Jill is honored to have been mentioned in the report. Can't wait for WO, to be able tp paddle with the CYA some more!!!
